How:

How Metrosexual is your Worship Leader?
Courtesy of an email sent to me by Jess Chambers, areas of it edited into my own liking.

1. Has a faux hawk hair style = +12.
2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +13.
3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +14.
4. They are not prescription, but just for effect = +25.
5. Attends the Hillsong Conference = +36.
6. Performs at the Hillsong Conference = +107.
7. Owns , Chuck Taylor, Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair.
8. Wears jeans on stage = +19.
9. Wears designer jeans on stage = +210.
10. Wears Wrangler or Rustler jeans on stage = -311.
11. Has a goatee = +212.
12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +213.
13. Drinks coffee on stage = +114.
14. Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed = +215.
15. Brings a French Press on stage and makes his own coffee during service = +516.
16. Has a handlebar mustache = -317.
17. Good at Frisbee but hates getting all "sweaty" = +118.
18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +119.
19. Owns a white belt = +220.
20. Owns suspenders = -321.
21. Wears a scarf with a t-shirt = +122.
22. Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer = +223.
23. You think he covered a My Chemical Romance song last week = +324.
24. Drives an Audi or VW, silver of course = +225.
25. Uses the words, "postmodern, relevant" or "emergent" nonstop = +226.
26. Cringes a little when people say the "H word." (Hymnal) = +327.
27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, "That song is so 1990s" = +128.
28. Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt = -229.
29. Named his kid after a color or a number = +230.
30. References Norwegian punk bands you've never heard of = +231.
31. Wears a tie = -132.
32. Wears a tie as a belt = +233.
33. Looks as if he might exfoliate = +234.
34. Has a man bag or European Carry All = +235.
35. Brings bag on stage with him = +236.
36. Has a tattoo = +237.
37. Has a visible tattoo = +438.
38. Wife accompanies him on stage and plays tambourine = -439.
39. Was formerly in a punk new wave band = +240.
40. Knows the names of all the people on the scripted MTV show, "the Hills" = +341.
41. Refuses to drink anything but Vitamin Water = +242.
42. Your wife ever says, "he needs a barrette for his hair." = +243.
43. Has a nickname with "the" in it, as in "the edge," = +244.
44. Owns every Nooma video = +245.
45. Has a soul patch = +346.
46. Won't play barefoot on stage until he gets a pedicure = +247.
47. Owns a pair of lady jeans = +250.
48. Twitters you from his iPhone = +251.
49. His toddler dresses cooler than you = +252.
50. He wears graphic t-shirts over button down, long sleeve shirts = +253.
51. Ever says "we got a hot mic here" = -454.
52. Shops at the Warehouse = -55.
53. Shops at Hallensteins = +2.
54. Shops at Blue Revolution = +20.
55. Shops at Diesel = +100.
    
    
    

OFFICIAL SCORE SHEET:

0 - 10 points = Hymnal Hero.

You my friend are what is known in the industry as a "Hymnal Hero." You're not metro in the least bit. You don't like fruit flavoured chapstick and think that songs that were written in this century, or the last one for that matter, are "too new." If married, your wife tries to get you to wear hip jeans but you're not into it. When my hymnal cologne comes out, you will buy a case.

11 - 20 points = Tomlin Curious.

Oh, well hello there, you're Tomlin Curious. I am of course referring to Chris Tomlin, one of the founding fathers of metrosexual worship leading. You're currently dipping a toe, pedicured even, into the idea of all of this. You were probably a former hairdresser and still rock the occasional hymn. Recently you saw a wide leather bracelet in a shop and thought about getting it. When you sleep at night you can hear voices calling you, "come style your hair, come frost your tips".

21 - 40 points = Goatee Guy.

Right now, you're wearing Pumas and drinking a coffee that has fourteen words in its name. You've gone over to the Salmon side. (This is the side where instead of saying "pink" you say things are "salmon" or "melon" or "coral.") You rarely play a hymn and style yourself after Jeremy Camp. For breakfast you had something with "wheat grass" in it.

41 - 60 points = Girl Jeans Gambler.

You're thinking about it. I mean you're not ready to do the guyliner thing, but when you shop for clothes you get a little tempted. You've never sung a hymn and think Chris Tomlin is "too traditional."

61+ points = The Joel.

You are Joel Houston of Hillsong United. Not only does he have a tattoo on his right arm, hangs out with creative types like photographers and poets a lot, he's funny and can bust out an instant, "I'm a serious rockstar worship leader" face on cue. He's got that "Kings of Leon" smelly but clean look and is the David Beckham of Metrosexual Worship Leaders. If you manage to reach this level then you are on another planet my friend, the Joel planet.