Sunday, January 17, 2010

Drive Thru and Aliens

Dan and I share alot of interests.


  • Romantic strolls around "The Warehouse"
  • Criticising Bacon and Egg Menus and make decisions on who gives the stingiest amounts of butter at the different Cafe's around our town.
  • Driving past Cyclists with our arm out the window winding them in an anti-clockwise motion, round and round like were about to give them the biggest slap on the bum in their lives.
  • Frequenting the Auctions with less "Har Har I told you so" regrets than last time.
  • We like to do several laps round the Video store only to come out with the first DVD we picked up.
  • We have fluid "dont even have to think about it" movements in the drive thru.
Our minds and mouths can be talking over something as comprehensive as politics *cough* yet our bodies continue to function with minds of their own...
Dan while looking at me completely engrossed, blindly punches in his pin number then automatically has his right hand out the window awaiting his card and reciept.
I'm clearing the drink holders of old receipts, hairclips and pens, tidying the room at my feet from my handbag and shoes I've most likely kicked off, which I grab with my right hand and extend to the back of Dans seat as he is handing me the bag of food that I grab with my left hand and replace the newly emptied space with... Dan would already have the drinks in their appropriate holders and I would then be breaking the seals of the straw packets to poke through the lids... all the while discussing how much Rodney Hyde looks like a lawn gnome.

My point is, we are One. But we are maaaany. And from all the lands on Earth we come. We share a dream. And sing with onnnnnne voice. I am. You are. We are Australian.
I actually didn't expect to write that last line. It's a
song. That further proves that my body does have a mind of its own.

But we ARE one. We like to be in sych with eachothers likes and dislikes.

We share heaps of things things as likes but we also have a string of things we cant agree on as likes.

Example:

  • I like Vintage shopping. Dan likes not coming with me.
  • Dan likes Fishing. I like when that means were going off a wharf or a boat, not when it means scrawling razor rocks cliffhanger style and returning from 12 hour course with cuts on your face and most other extremeties.
  • I like Markets, walks in the park, festivals, star gazing, boardgames, concerts, Auckland.
  • Dan likes tools, landscaping, what seem like monthly "Pirates of the Caribbean" Marathons, RD1 browsing, "Country Calendar", talking about grass and buying a Ute.
So when we come across something that we both like, we grab it with both hands, take it hostage and beat it up a little bit.
The TV Heavens parted my friends. The TV Heavens parted and gave us "V".

We both love mumbo jumbo fakey flakey stuff, so when a new show comes out BY THE CREATOR OF "LOST" we were all over it.
But especially cause it's about Aliens.

I spoke to a Telemarketer today.

She sounded a bit weird.
The cat hissed for no reason.
A Cow just completely appeared on my property out of nowhere.
And she called when I was sleeping. They ALWAYS do.

After watching a little TV, it dawned on me.
She's an Alien.

The human race has been absorbed with the idea of life on other planets.
That old guy Astronaut Buzz Aldrin reckoned he saw something when he went to the Moon.
He's got himself a trustworthy face. I believe him.

So how to workout if you are talking to one:

Ask them. If they say no, they're an Alien.
No Alien would ever admit to being an Alien.

I have my suspicions about what areas they thrive in too.
Mainly in electronics.
Or Fashion...
Or Corner Stores.
Or at Burger King in Whangarei on State Highway 1.
(They always stuff up your order... it is obviously an assessing tactic. They are gathering data and reports on the Human race and our reaction times so they can be well prepared for taking over our Planet).

If you know someone that catches on a bit too quickly with operating a cellphone or DVD player or is a bit too keen to hook up your internet connection... it's possible they are used to an even more advanced technology... technology of Alien origin.

Other tell tale signs:
-Snoring. This is obvious communication with the Mothership.
-No savings. Alien culture has evolved so much that money is obsolete thus dealing with money is a struggle as it is an unfamiliar concept.
-Pregnancy. Swollen feet and sticky outy bellybuttons. Need I say anymore.
-Cows go missing. They then reappear wearing "I've been to Sector 5 of Galaxy 6 and survived" T-Shirts.

Although I have no concrete proof there are Aliens out there, just believe me... they're out there.

6 comments:

PaisleyJade said...

Totally cracking me up here... and reminded me that I am due for a romantic stroll around The Warehouse too.

Stephen said...

If snoring is communicating with the mother-ship, I hate to think what sleep-talking must be!

I'm Betty said...

Paisley - yes do! next time take a loaf of bread with you, they have park benches now so you can feed the little children as they waddle past.
Jon - Good point. It must be some superior form of communication... perhaps when theyre sharing top secret information about our countries state of affairs?

Tall Pipi said...

Is that where you'll be taking little not Charlotte to get fed? Past the bench seats in the Warehouse? Cunning plan!

Rachel Kate said...

weeee rachel kate likes this

I'm Betty said...

Tall Pipi - yes. Yes thats my plan.
Rachel Kate - Chur!

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